Making Connection a Priority Even in Busy Times
I don’t know about you, but all of the sudden life has taken on a pace that feels like I am on a bullet train. It is fast, frenetic and very full. At this pace, logistics and transactions make up the lion share of my day to day parenting.
“Hey Kiddo, time to leave for your soccer game?”
“Mom, where's my favorite shirt?”
“Kids, time to do your homework?”
”Daddy, can you wipe me?”
At the end of the day I have definitely interacted with my kids, but it doesn’t necessarily feel like we have actually connected. While keeping up with the schedule is a labor of love, kids need positive, focused and deeper connection too.
Developmentally, connection fosters a healthy, loving relationship which supports a child’s sense of self worth, confidence in themselves and others, and a sense of trust. Connection can benefit you as well. When children feel connected they are more likely to cooperate. In addition, connection makes it less likely that they will engage in attention seeking behaviors, like nagging and whining.
With our busy lives, how can we make time for this connection. It isn’t about sitting down for a heart to heart everyday. What 3 year old or 16 year old would tolerate that? Not many. There are many small ways you can cultivate this connection, with small actions and gestures that are easy to incorporate into the rhythm of your busy life.
Start by considering your daily interactions with your kids. Try these tips for making time and space to make connections beyond logistics.
Engage your child with caring facial expressions and physical affection.
Listen closely to your child when they communicate with you.
Set aside at least 5/10 minutes to be with your child, away from distractions and doing things that you enjoy together.
Get curious about their social, emotional and educational worlds.
Show interest in your child’s achievements, activities and interests.
Use words to celebrate and encourage, especially when they make an effort with something or try out a new skill.
Look your child in the eye and use your tone and facial expression to express loving care and support.
Where can you incorporate some of these simple actions into your daily routine? Being intentional about deeply connecting with your kids is important. It just takes a little time, patience and practice. In our busy world, it’s an easy thing to overlook as we try to keep our heads above water. The rewards are not only essential to their growth and development but are key to unlocking more joy and satisfaction in your parenting which can translate to a more open, trusting, loving and meaningful relationship with your kids.
If you need help fostering connection find the support that work for you. You can talk to a friend, a therapist, fellow parents or even a parenting coach. You are not alone, there are many resources out there that can help.
